smokes! You'll never guess what happened to
me this morning! After writing up the two
LAN Minutes below, I rushed home this morning to
take care of a suspected server issue -- since it
wasn't my lunch time yet, Isis didn't have anything
prepared for me, so she asked if I would like a
grilled-cheese... She made a great sandwich,
I sat down and took a bite then noticed there was
a face starring up at me, it was the face of baby
Myles! I was in shock!! Although hard
to make out in this amateur photo taken at 10:30am,
you can see the features of baby Myles face!
Praise the Lord above!! I have put this holy-miracle-phenomenon
on eBay... You too will have the glorious
chance to bid on this fine item, bidding starts
at $20,000.00 US since my sandwich is fresher than
Buddy's "Virgin Mary Grilled-Cheese Holy Sandwich
reads Abattoir.Net -- in the time it took to post
the LAN Minutes update below, the value of the "Virgin
Mary Grilled-Cheese Holy Sandwich Phenomenon"
has just dropping from $16,600.00 to $7,600.00
This happened in the last 20 seconds !! It's
like a miracle! I'll be selling this LAN Minutes
on eBay later this month. Perhaps someone
in Florida will buy it.
you've been living under a rock (...or in Beeton...),
there's a good chance you've heard about the latest
test in human gullibility sponsored by eBay...
Remember when my chat log with the president of
up for sale on eBay and actually had buyers
bid on it? I thought that was a testament
to dumb, but check out what some moron in Ft. Lauderdale,
Florida has cooked up -- yes, it's half a grilled-cheese
sandwich with a bite out of it that was made ten
years ago. No joke (...well, that depends
on where you sit on the matter I suppose...).
Apparently he made himself a grilled-cheese, "when
I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up
at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I
was in total shock!" Shock's not the
word I would use, but whatever... Time and
time again he references the sandwich as a phenomenon
since "the item has not been preserved or anything,
It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special
one that seals out air or potential mold or bacteria,
it is like a miracle!" No... It's
not like a miracle, it's more like proof you shouldn't
eat process cheese you ass-hat. Either way,
eBay item #5535890757
as of this point of writing has locked in over $16,500.00
US with another 4 days left on the bidding.
I say good for him, if some religious featherbrain
out there is stupid enough to buy this, I say take
his money then laugh at him. For sixteen grand
you could make over 64,000 grilled-cheese sandwiches
and feed a small country... Or you could put
this in your fridge and pray to it, either one's
good. *bangs head*
to bring James Bond and Austin Powers together,
looks like Lockheed Martin Space Systems is getting
close to introducing its new Missile Laser Defence
system for commercial aircraft -- yes, soon you
can enjoy the comforts of knowing your Boeing 747
is nose-armed with a megawatt-class COIL chemical
laser system fueled by a syrup mix of hydrogen,
oxygen and salts (...Basic Hydrogen Peroxide...);
it's capable of destroy ballistic missiles racing
at your flight by instantly locking onto the baseball-sized
object coming at you in excess of 6,000km/h and
heating it to burst point in seconds... Okay,
so what if it's a tennis-ball sized rocket heading
at your flight in excess of 6,000km/h and it misses
for a second -- who's hot-dog gets toasted then?
"I don't know dear, I was just walking downtown
and suddenly felt very feverish; then my Fedora
popped into flames." Quite a neat write-up
on Space.com, take a peek if you have that significant
other who's a real hard person to shop for at Christmas.
Call! We received a letter which posed an
interesting idea, an idea that we've hashed around
the Abattoir from time to time -- Member Minutes,
sorta' sounds like Air Miles (...lasers not included...)
but different; although we have the Abattoir.BBs
for the public to make their voice heard, an Abattoir.Net
Supporting Member was wondering if he would be able
to write a "LAN Minutes UpDate" for Abattoir.Net...
Sure! Why not? If you have something
happening that you want to let everyone know about
and you think it would fit in the Minutes, or perhaps
you just want to banter then send us your LAN Minutes
along with any graphic you might have (full rez,
none edited) and our crack team of Editors will
critique it so bad that you'll develop a complex...
or we might publish it on Abattoir.Net, either one.
Keep your LAN Minutes entry one paragraph long and
no more than 250 words if you can. If we run
your LAN Minutes on Abattoir.Net, you can take home
a wonderful "I kicked-ass @ the Abattoir"
Official tee-shirt! Send your creative entry
lookie, lookie here... It seems Abattoir.Net's
BTM45 "Frag4Food" Drive made the news
across southern Ontario! On Monday morning
following the BTM, Kevin Frankish of CityTV's
Breakfast Television mentioned Abattoir.Net
while reporting on weekend happenings -- I wrote
to Kevin on Sunday evening and included a picture
of all the food that was donated at BTM45's "Frag4Food"
Drive, he read the whole email live, a snippet of
which; "We host a rather small LAN Party (30
people) but take a look at the donations that arrived
– I just wanted to take a moment to thank
all our players; your generosity is appreciated
in spades! If a small house party of 30 guests can
pull together over 240 cans of food for The
Daily Bread Food Bank, then I would throw the
challenge out to all other LAN Party event coordinators
to top us! Let’s make sure no one goes hungry
this holiday season…". Kevin and
Liza gave the Abattoir quite a praise for our community
good will... So once again, everyone from
BTM45, the team at BT also tells you to take a bow!
I've approached CityTV's Program Director in a bid
to acquire a copy of the November 8th Breakfast
Television broadcast since I missed it, we'll let
you know how that comes. Now we can officially
say "Abattoir.Net - As seen on TV".
Call! It's not just the Abattoir using our
postal service to send surprises... We had
a little package arrive here today containing a
slew of awesome baby clothes for Myles, thanks guys,
he loves them all! A wonderful letter was
enclosed which ended "...we can't wait to come
and visit. We also have some good news to
share. We're going to become parents too come
May 17th!" The letter was from Jeff (Viking/Madball)
Walker and Kristie (PMS)
Walker (Kobrynowicz); long time Abattoir readers
would recall, Viking and I became friends many moons
ago after blowing each others heads all over the
dungeon walls repeatedly in Quake on a server we
both frequented... Viking invited us to New
Jersey for their
wedding when he latched on to the stunning Kristie
back in Aug 2001 -- Congratulations guys!
We knew it was coming *ahem* that's great news...
Too bad Myles will have over a years advance training
in Doom3 and Unreal2 before Kristie introduces MiniYours,
my kid's going to kick your kids' ass! Ah...
Tomorrow marks a very
important day -- as we gather at a BTM LAN Party
to shoot each other with rocket launchers, shotguns,
sniper-rifles, mines and grenades we laugh and yell
at the thrill of the kill while explosions rage
around us; it almost seems sick to get a charge
out of it after you approach a Vet to buy your Remembrance
Day Poppy; their
account of our game play fun was all too personal
and very much real... I bought a second Poppy
after loseing the first I bought two days before
from one of nicest gentleman you could meet; he's
stationed at Costco in Mississauga near the corner
of Mavis and Britannia right in the main doors.
He offered to pin my Poppy on, I refused saying
"it's okay, I'll just stab at myself a few
times, it'll find it's way... anyway, pales
in comparison to what you boys went though."
He smiled back, then reached for the Poppy and began
to weave it through my coat lapel, he bent the pin
on the end just a tad "...this will keep it
from falling off when you drive, you have to watch
out for the seat belt." He smiled and
I shook his hand; he was like an instant grandpa...
I just wanted to stand there in Costco's entrance
and ask him what it was all like; I just can't imagine
the stories. Please take a moment tomorrow
to remember and never forget, the unreal sacrifices
made by our Vets; thanks boys, we owe you more than
can be said in a small paragraph on a small website.
us your cans, indeed! This weekend kicked
off BTM Season, and we brought it in with a full
house blast-fest! We can't thank our
patrons enough for their generosity, you brought
a tear to our eyes! We asked everyone coming
to bring a can or more of food to kick-off our "Frag4Food"
drive, with all goods going to The Daily Bread Food
Bank, each can scored you a ticket and we drew for
a DVD player donated to the Abattoir by the great
folks at AVDeals.com
-- We asked, you listened and did you ever come
through for us! Just look at the pile of chow
that showed... We collected over 250 cans
of food ranging from Chunky Soup to baby food to
"Bamboo Shoots" (WTF?) -- for a LAN Party
of about 30 people, I think that's pretty damned
impressive! Extra thanks go out to David (Bitch'n'Heat)
Grima who showed with over 45 cans and Jason (Silent
Bob) Rees who piled over 20 cans into the cause...
You can all take a well deserved bow, you've helped
feed many a family -- Kudos, gang!
usual, all the excitement was caught on camera and
has been placed in the BTM Folder on the SuperFTP
Server... We'll be adding the HiDEF video
footage too, but I think we'll have to sample it
down a tad first. As previously mentioned,
the Abattoir.Net Compendium DVD Box Sets have been
received by our Supporting Members, but there was
another little surprise encoded within -- an easter-egg
was placed on the 3rd DVD! The Special Features
DVD (...once you found the easter-egg...) instructed
you to email email@example.com with the subject
title "Soda is a loser!" as soon as you
found it -- congratulations to Luke (Horus) Baltus
who found it first and claimed his prize at the
BTM, a nice little Case
Logic CD/DVD Vault. Keep posted to Abattoir.Net
for the announcement of BTM46's date.
little surprise is out of the bag now... On
October 30th - 2004, over 4 months of work was packaged
in bubble-wrap envelopes and shipped out across
the land to every unsuspecting supporting member
of Abattoir.Net; It was our way of saying "Thank-You"
for your support... Enclosed in the Abattoir.Net
Compendium 2 was 20 gigs of goodies spanning three
DVDs for Unreal Tournament 2004 -- this collection
contains 15 Assault maps, 371 Deathmatch maps, 141
Onslaught maps, 14 Bombing Run maps, 191 Capture
the Flag maps, 13 Double Domination maps, 50 Vehicle
CTF maps, 150 new skins and even includes 10 Unreal
Tournament MODs and the latest patches... With the
Compendium installed, there's little chance an UT2K4
player would ever be downloading a map at a LAN
party! On DVD3 we included some great bonus features
from happenings around the Abattoir this year, like
DieJestor blowing his hand off at the cottage with
a rocket, all caught in HiDEF -- also, watch a wicked
video of CorpsE whale on 666 BOTs in 9:11sec all
sped-up and put to music... Each and every Compendium
2 DVD box set is serial number stamped, embossed
and registered to that supporting member... If you
received a Compendium DVD box set, hold on to your
serial number. Once again, thank-you for your
Want more info on the Abattoir.Net Compendium02
DVD Box Set? Want your very own copy (...free
of course!..) Check-out compendium02.abattoir.net
where 98.3% of what you've just read is repeated (but there's more pictures and stuff).
my! It's time to polish your rocket launcher
(...get your mind out of the gutter...) because
BTM45 "Compendium" Edition is almost here!
The long Summer wait is over, BTM Season is now
open and this weekend we'll be seeing the frags
flying like never before -- there's always a buzz
in the air when BTM week hits. Since the Christmas
Season will quickly be upon us too, we're going
to ask our great patrons to do a little extra for
us on this BTM; we're having a "Frag4Food"
drive... Every attendee to BTM45 (...spectator
or not...) are being asked to bring a can of food
-- all food collected will be delivered to the Daily
Bread Food Bank where it is desperately needed...
Let's make sure we feed each other rockets, but
not forget those among us who are less fortunate.
Each can of food you bring gives you one draw ticket
-- we'll draw one ticket from the hat, that winner
gets to pick a prize envelope that will contain
the number of the prize in the Abattoir.Net SwagMag
that you've won; you can bring as many cans as you
like (...of course...) so pad your chances and fill
a hungry tummy at the same time. Notices are
going out tonight to all registrants...
everyone have a spooky Halloween? We sure
did! (...kinda...) We're just wondering,
how old was the oldest person who showed at your
door? When is someone too old to go out trick-or-treating?
We had one pair show at our door that were so old
I asked them if they wanted the Mr.Big Chocolate
Bar or a Beer; here's a little advise for those
of you who are over the age of 16 and still wish
to cash in on Halloween bootie -- if you come to
my door, you had better be in a costume, you had
better be extra polite, and for the love of God,
put your friggin' cigarette out before you ring
my bell. Either way, it was a great night
and the "kids" had fun! Little Myles
didn't go out of course, since he's only 6 months
old, but he did pose for a photo opt.
"If you're new to Abattoir.Net and want to get to know what
we're all about, sit back with a cup of joe or a brew and cruise
through the ramblings of the past"