05:20pm Sep26, 2003 
Happy Rosh Hashanah to our Jewish friends out there...  The weekend’s here and BTM41 is packed more than a GO Train leaving Union Station at rush hour (...and can smell just as bad...)  It’s going to be an “elbows in” BTM for sure.  We have a couple more newbies that will be joining us on November 1st, so just to get them and everyone else up to speed on what’s going to be happening, we’ve finally put together our BTM Portal to guide you, check it out!

Just a short time ago, Isis and I were at the hospital for our first peek at the “MiniMeat” spawn...  Ultrasounds rather crack me up, and if you’ve been around anyone who’s pregnant for the first time, you know they’re the first to stick one of these images in your face and start pointing out body parts on a little image that looks like VHF static snapshots of a tadpole with an oversized head...  The best part is when they comment on how ‘cute’ it is.  I must say though, for me this was photographic proof that she’s not faking it and using this whole pregnancy thing as a ruse to get me to do even more housework while she eats tubs of Vanilla Ripple Chocolate Fudge Banana Pizza Salmon Ice Cream.  They "don't print the ultrasound images for you" we were told after asking; I was going to clarify that we're not after an 8"x10" colour glossy, just the image on the screen for my Mother...  She said it's hospital policy that at this early stage in the pregnancy, they don't give out images in case there's a miscarriage -- so as soon as she turned around, I pulled out the Digital Camera in my pocket (...already on and set for Macro...) and snapped a picture; yeah, I know...  He/she's a little fuzzy looking, but consider the Father; don't tell me I can't do my spawns first Portrait (...eat your heart out Sears...)  We did notice the little critter has mobile arms that continuously punch her bladder; isn’t it cute!?

We’ve been hard at work around the Abattoir throwing out treasured items like 300 Baud Atari Pocket Modems and the like in an attempt to defrag LAN Central in preparation for the Server Room that’s going in...  Just this morning I caught ten Commodore 64 owners routing through my garbage bags out back.  It’s a big job, but it’ll all be worth it when the dust clears.  CorpsE and Infinity have just about finished the new Portal Server, so it won’t be long until the Abattoir has a proper Web Server in place; you know we’re going to have fun with that!

This may be premature (...no pun intended...) but I do believe that a certain someone out there may be a Father as of today!  We heard from HitMan yesterday, it would seem his wife was busy in the background having contractions; let us know how it all came out Mike (...no pun intended, yet again...)


03:00pm Sep19, 2003 
Good grief, this is a lot of rain and wind!  Nothing here in Toronto compares to the hammering Carolina’s getting, but the giant, low level swirling clouds sure look like something Lucas Film would have fun recreating…  Hurricane Isabel sure knows how to blow!  We popped back up to cottage country and pulled the boat from the river and secured everything tight for the big storm, which by the time it reached Toronto this morning had already been downgraded to a tropical storm and now just a tropical depression.  The Abattoir’s LLAMA Tent (Little.Local.Area.MeatMans.Abattoir) was left up in a bid to see if it’s still standing when I get home or if it decides to make a trip to Kansas…  Time will tell.

Seems there’s a lot of people who were a little slow on the trigger finger when the date for BTM41 was announced, it’s still not too late to get your name on the Waiting List in hopes of cancellations…  If the LLAMA is still up, perhaps we’ll run a cable trunk out to it and six lucky Abattoids can battle from the backyard.

We’re getting a little email around the Abattoir from people asking why they can’t get on the SuperFTP Server…  It’s because the server’s full.  Members can always get on, but public accounts will have to wait for an opening, so remember, when you’re on, log off when you’re done, there’s others awaiting file goodness behind you (…or you can become a supporting member ;)…)

The Abattoir Server Room is now under construction!  The storage area under the stairs in LAN Central has been cleared out and we’ll be moving the farm into there (…now the Abattoir can claim it has people under the stairs...)  It won’t be anything too fancy just yet (…the Halon system’s on back order…) but it’ll be a great spot to keep them all, nice and cool year round, they can all make as much fan noise as they want, plus we’ll now be able to keep the Abattoir Lab cool in the summer without several thousand watts of extra heat being generated.  We’ll keep you posted as we move forward.  Have a safe weekend, drive careful and don’t forget to pump out your basement.


06:66pm Sep15, 2003 
Boo!!  This will be scary!Well there you have it, guess there’s no more waiting on what the date will be for BTM41 “R.I.P.” Edition! (“Really.Intense.Party”)  This BTM will see major tournament action which is still in the planning stage – Infinity has put together a tournament schedule that’ll make your head spin, so get your spooky game face on and don’t miss this one!  We’re taking Reservations starting now!

Since BTM41 will land smack on Halloween, it’s sure to be a spooky event (...recall BTM35 “Ghouls with Grenades” Edition last year?...) Come dressed in a costume if you like, best outfit as voted by the decaying attendees wins a little something we’re sure will tickle your bones and rattle your skull!  Don’t be waiting for digital photos to be put up so you can find out what you've missed again, if you’re sitting on the tombstone wondering if you should come, this is a great chance to join in…  Zookrabbi sure was glad he did! (…and will probably win best costume as Cousin It…)  Tournament details to follow shortly!

03:15pm Sep10, 2003 
What a way to bang out the summer, Folks!!  Kudos to all who attended what’s being called the “best BTM so far…”  It was without a doubt, a total gas!  Although not a full house with school starting for most, we rocked the Abattoir till the wee-hours with some great, intense game play.  Our tournament was delayed in starting thanks to a certain someone who showed up with a computer filled with more virus’ than Norton knows…  His machine brought the entire network to its knees and it wasn’t before the backbone going to LAN Central was yanked to isolate it from the Lab and the entire LAN Party “cold-booted” that we got back into the action.  We also noticed an extensive amount of lag during game play which is neither welcome, nor acceptable over the Abattoir networks, as such, from this point on, the SuperFTP Server will be throttled during LAN Parties.  Sorry CommanderX, we’re here to play games, not leech over 38 gigabytes in one afternoon…  What the hell were you thinking?  Who could possibly watch that much pR0n!? *terminated*

After a couple machines were “cleaned” and another several reloaded, another one rebuilt, everyone got into the games…  Several of you owe Infinity a big hug, you know who you are.  This brings another point to mind, in our attempt to keep the Abattoir BTMs running smooth; when you come to a LAN Party, would you please make sure your computer is: A) Up to date with all Microsoft security updates and patches.  B) Running a current and updated virus scanner  C) Works  D) Does not have a decal on the side saying “File Hoover 5000” – It’s not too much to ask, and will help things run smooth.

Our tournament game of choice (…as voted on the Abattoir.BBs…) was Quake3: Classic Quake Arena.  Everyone’s names went into a hat, even the Spectators…  After round one, half continued to round two and their names were entered yet again into the hat (…nice odds!..) but the top player in each round won a prize!  Thanks to candie for her very special donation to the prize pool which SoDa and Horus fought for in what they thought was a random drawn pair-up (…if you were at the BTM, you know what it was…)  Shouts to zCereal who threw a stick of RAM into the prize kitty as well!  Skunkworks, Cyclone and SoDa all won, but our big prize winner was a newbie, and to boot, wasn’t even playing, he was a Spectator!  First time BTMer zookrabbi won by draw the Maxtor 120gig Drive as CommanderX drooled over what he could fill it with.  Congratulations, zookrabbi!  You were all winners really, the only loser we could find in this BTM was Skunkworks' chair which will now be laid to rest beside zCereals' chair (…both looked as though they were props in the last Summer Slam…)

No sooner have the lights been shutdown in LAN Central and we’re planning hard for BTM41 – Check back soon because we’ll be announcing its play date very shortly, and it’s going to be very spooky! *hint* As always, the digital pictures are up on the SuperFTP and there’s a bunch of them!  Hundreds, actually…

Other Abattoir news now coming to the front; we now have ‘Abattoir Members’!  Yes, we’re taking memberships now, so if you want to support the network you enjoy, become a member!  If you don’t become a member, this web site will stop working every 35 minutes and a five minute telethon will ensue, informing you of the benefits and privileges that come with membership.  For instance, members get non-throttled speed on the Abattoir SuperFTP – 'Always On' privileges so you never have to wait for CommanderX to finish so you can get in – No caps or limits on the SuperFTP - First notice days ahead of everyone to sign-up for the upcoming BTMs – Last but not least, a full yourplayname@abattoir.net email address with no attachment limits!  Plus the ever important feeling of euphoria that will sweep and cleanse your soul knowing that you’re contributing to keep the drives spinning and the frags flying at Abattoir.Net (…we could pause the deathmatches at the BTMs; “This frag brought to you by, Zapco!” – who happens to be our first member!..)  Be popular, be the envy of all your friends, look more attractive to women!  To become a member, bring two of your favourite twenty dollar bills to the Abattoir and we’ll hook you up on the spot, give you a Beer and a hearty “thanks!” – Otherwise, you can email us at members@abattoir.net and promise to pay at the next BTM…  We’ll take your word on it (…or we’ll take your computer…)  Don’t forget, at the Abattoir, the Tech Support’s free and the Wings are always hot!  All that for just $3.33/month, now that’s value!


09:30pm Sep02, 2003 

This LAN Minutes Update is brought to you from Cottage Country, and by the letter “U”…  We decided to split Sunday afternoon for the great north and take Tuesday off to make it an extra long weekend.  Here I have lots of time to reflect on things going on while I sit in the Great Room overlooking Burnt River, sipping Orange Herbal tea and listening to Isis and her Mother not far away in the kitchen talking Croatian and preparing breakfast…  Life is fine at this snapshot in time.  Her Mother and friend will be leaving for the city early this morning (Mon), stranding Isis and myself here to enjoy nature alone (…or as ‘alone’ as one can be in cottage country during the Labour Day long weekend, I guess…)  One would think that is a good thing…  Did I mention Isis is pregnant?

For those of you who’ve not yet had the pleasure of ‘being one’ with a pregnant woman, allow me to emphasize some of the benefits…  For those who’ve already experienced the fun, you can laugh along.  Pregnant woman are wonders to behold…  First off, after they discover they’re ‘with child’, nature bestows upon them super-human powers and senses that we, as males, have no ability to conceive.  Small things, like certain sounds bother them, sensitiveness to everyday things which were never an issue before conception, a body whos temperature has the unreal ability to equal the lava pits in Q3DM7 then without warning flash freeze the instant you cuddle them.  All this is fine and dandy, it’s the way in which they migrate from one state to another, which is usually sudden and without warning even to the learned eye.  It is interesting to see someone breakdown and cry in a flash because they’re “so happy”.  Ever be standing in the kitchen that you spent three hours cleaning while your better half is at work, to have her come home and almost kill you because you folded the tea towel left to right rather than the expected (…since pregnancy…) right to left?  Most interesting, considering they have the ability to tell you your faults in a contiguous sentence that shall last no shorter than 20 minutes and although they now have super hearing, this verbal onslaught will be at a pressure no less than 80db and a frequency which will peek and hold around the 8-12 kHz range.  Finding foods she likes has not been too difficult, if it doesn’t run faster than her, there’s a fair chance she’ll eat it…  However, the ‘baby’ doesn’t like certain things, and you best take note when the subtle hint is provided, however, there’s a trick…  Make it seem as if you’re taking notes, use props, whip out a small note pad and pretend to write the information down…  This shows you are involved with the pregnancy and all the turmoil she’s going through, it shows you care and that’s what’s important.  You don’t have to actually write anything down, as a matter-o-fact, writing it down would be a waste of time because that particular food the ‘baby’ can’t stand will, within a short few hours, be the same thing you’ll be dispatched to Tim Horton’s at 3:00am attempting to find.  (…as I’m typing this now, I can hear her in the kitchen discussing the extensive list of items that make her nauseated…)  She explains the hell of getting up several times in the night to go to the bathroom…  I’ve been doing that for years, its called age, but don’t bother bringing that up, because that’s about you, not the ‘baby’.  Neat thing is it’s only going to get ‘better’. Did I mention the mood-swings? Guess it’s time to start thinking of a name for the little critter as “Mini-Meat” isn’t going to cut it…  If it’s a guy, how about “Gig”, that’s a cool name.  His middle name could be “Abbot” (…Gig-Abbot, get it?..)  Oh well…  There's lots of time to think about that I suppose. 

Just a few days to go before BTM40 so it’s time to answer the age old BTM question brought to front by so many, so often; “are there prizes?”   Yes, BTM40 we will be giving away a Maxtor 120 Gigabyte 7200rpm Hard Drive!  But it’s not going to be a Door Prize this time, you’re going to have to fight for it, and here’s how:  Everyone in attendance, be them a Spectator or Player, will have their name put in the drum, this way, just like a Door Prize, everyone gets a chance, even SoDa.  We will be having a tournament in a game as yet to be announced since voting for this game of choice is still happening on the Abattoir.BBs.  Each win for you or your team will result in your name being entered yet again into the drum.  The better you play, the more chances you have of taking a large amount of drive space home.  Simple, yes?

This BTM brings us back to speed with our usual…  Early-Bird starts at 6pm, Friday.  BTM Starts at 12pm, Saturday.  The Abattoir’s Coke Machine is still ‘busted’ but with enough nagging I’m sure we’ll have the compressor replaced in the next day or two…  We still need recruits!  Let’s get those empty spots filled for our Season Finale!


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