11:45am May26, 2002
Cujo came out to play...Last night, the Leaf's faced elimination in Carolina, but unbelievably, Cutis shut ‘em down!  Rick Ley, the Leaf's assistant coach, said it best, "When we needed him (Curtis Joseph) in the third period, he stood on his head."  Thanks for the tension guys, I need more stress in my life. Abattoir's still open then for Game On! as we head back to Toronto!  Come on out and cheer for the Beer!  …er, Leaf's!

We're Baaack!!  Sign-Up!We've installed two micro, wireless (with sound) colour webcams (…Yeah, I know there's already 6, but another couple couldn't hurt, plus Isis hasn't even found the other ones yet! <GriN!>…) so the MeatCAM will be much more portable now, I can't say I'm very impressed with one of the cameras images, so it'll be going back…  If the Abattoir looks like it's in Winnipeg in the middle of the Winter, then you're seeing the “funky” cam, we're working on it.

Just a quick update here…  As some of you more studious users have noticed, the Abattoir.BBs is finally back online now!  After it's premature slaughter from our old ISP, and delays in the release of UBB6.3, it's finally up and running!  New features are in place and once again, if you have your own Avatar, please be sure to send us an image so we can put it on the system for you.

Sad to say, the work involved with moving the old forums over was a bit too much for us right now, we thought getting the system back up and running was more important, so as it stands you'll have to reapply to get in!


04:15pm May16, 2002
Luke!  Use the phone to call in sick...Wow!  Checked my email this morning to find out there's yet another idiot out there (...from Africa this time…) that has $38,000,000.00 US that they need to deposit into my account in order to keep the corrupt government from absorbing it.  Who are these idiots?  Does anyone out there actually fall for these stupid scams?  Regardless, I've told him that I've reported him to Interpol and wrote him back saying “I think you might want to find a legal and honourable method of making money, but at least in prison, you'll get three square meals a day (...between anal rapings, of course...)”  Wonder if he'll respond.

Click for full screen Poster...Speaking of large amounts of money, I understand it's estimated the US will see $120 million today in lost revenue due to the number of people who are expected to call in sick just to go see Star Wars Attack of the Clones…  Not sure how they came up with that number, I guess Bill Gates announced he was going to skip work for 3 hours to see it…  That would account for $110 million right there.

Looking for an evening out?  Want to take in some great live music?  Want to buy a great premier CD for $5?  Want to see a former Abattoir LAN Party player thrash it out on stage in just a thong while wearing nipple clamps? (…Okay, I made the last part up…) Well then, head out to The Reverb on the corner of Bathurst and Queen in Toronto and catch the Split CD Release Party with “Endorphins” and “Six On Nine” Sunday, June 2nd…  Creep tells us it's going to be a blast (…and assured us he'll keep his pants on while on stage…).  It's an All Ages event with a Bar for those 19+.  Doors open at 6pm and there's a cover charge of $3…  That's a hell of a deal to see two great local bands pound out an evening of tunes!  Want to hear some Endorphins now?  Check this clip out (Used with permission) called “Pussy Killer”, and if you want more, log on to the Abattoir SuperFTP and check out the Endorphins folder (…in the uploads directory…) for two full tunes! (Link removed for archive, check SuperFTP)


10:00am May15, 2002
wOOt!!Good Lord, the Leaf's move on!!  It was one hell of a loud night at the Abattoir last night as our battered and bruised Leaf's, missing most of their team to injury, still managed to pound their way through the Ottawa Senators in another game 7 series in the race for Lord Stanley's Cup!  Yonge Street, downtown Toronto, rocked and partied till the wee hours of the morning today as thousands and thousands of die-hard Leafs fans poured from the ACC and local bars after the 3 to 0 shutout to clog the downtown streets in a mass (…and well behaved…) celebration.  Oh my weakened heart, how much more can it take…  Just as before, it's no rest for the weary as the Leaf's get no time off to recover.  Game 1 of the Leaf's vs. Hurricanes series starts tomorrow, come on out to the Abattoir and yell with the rest of us!

We've opened more ports for BTM32, there's now 4 additional spots on the Reservation Page for additional players.  As it stands, we still have space available for this BTM, so get recruiting if you know anyone who's not been to a LAN Party, now is a great time to introduce the idea!  Remember, LAN Parties fill by word of mouth, so let's get those spots filled fast.

The Abattoir BBs will be back online very soon, Infopop was a little delayed with their release of UBB6, but it's out, we've got it, we'll be working on it tonight…  We'll let you know when we're back up!


03:00pm May06, 2002
As we say farewell to BTM31, we'll get right on posting the date for BTM32!  If you sign-up for this BTM and bail at the last minute, you'll be publicly friggin’ flogged by all Abattoir Staff Members the next time we get a hold of you!  Although BTM31 was great and we met some new faces to the Abattoir, it could have been better if there was not a rash of cancellations.  The following are now considered “non-valid” excuses to bail:
Llama Lame Attendance Missing Appendix (L.L.A.M.A.)
Let's just take a peek at this reason…  If you do not own a vehicle, or do not have access to a vehicle, or don't know if you can get a ride, do not sign-up...  Even we don't expect you to walk over with your computer.  We're sick and tired of hearing this one, it's becoming old and will no longer be accepted.  If you're not 90% sure you'll be able to GET there, then don't bother clogging up the Reservations Page with your name, that's not its function.
You now officially have SIX WEEKS to find out if you can get that one day off work, if you're a weekend worker.  Do NOT put your name on the reservation listing to secure a port and seat at BTM32 then email us Thursday night before the Early-Bird to tell us your big-bad-boss won't let you have the day off.  Call your boss now, and TELL him you're booking that day off if that's what's required, when he says “That's fine…” pull out a piece of paper with the date written down and have him sign it. 
What!?  Unless you're bedridden with a temperature of 102 and/or your left and/or right leg has been brutally amputated in a horrible farm equipment mishap, your sniffling nose doesn't qualify as a valid reason for missing a BTM that you've signed-up for.  Get over yourself, we have a healthy supply of Kleenex and the Abattoir has superior Hepa Filtration installed, I'm sure no one else will get your plague unless they start licking your mouse balls (…and that's not happened since Impaired was last at a BTM…)
So what!?  You mean you didn't see that coming before you signed-up?  You see her every day, this is a chance not to…  If you can dodge rockets that good, I would hope you'd be able to side-step a flying frying pan with ease Mr. Warrior.  Plus, if she truly loved you like she claims, she'll let you come out and play with your friends...  This is the perfect opportunity to test her love.  Remember, "For better, for worse, for LAN Parties".  It's in the Bible somewhere, trust me.
Although valid, we'll require a death certificate.

Llamas Love Ribs'n'Wings...All that being said and out of our system, let's hope no one treats BTM32 with such a lack of concern.  We do NOT want to see the Reservations Page filled in 4 hours, we want to see it filled with people who are interesting in attending, not those who apparently like to see their name in print on a website.  Such that it is, the date for BTM32 “BBQ Ribs'n'Wings Boot Camp” Edition will be June 15th!  We open the backyard for our first Summer Games to all who have a tent!  The BBQ will be ablaze with massive Bronto-Backribs and Wings as we pitch tents outside in the backyard for a weekend of loud carnage and competitions (…obviously, you don't have to have a tent to come, you're welcome to crash inside, but we think the tent idea could be fun!..)  The game of choice is open, but it's time to return to Tournament action. Sign-Up now (…taking heed of what's been written in the above paragraph…) and come join us!

As most of you are aware, the Abattoir is now being served fresh, from ExaHost Inc. here in Canada.  The switch over was spooky thanks to our old ISP who pulled our plug premature, but so far the only casualty is the BBs.  We can now get at all the old files, but UBB has announced it's coming out with a new version of the system in a couple days, so we're holding off on all the work setting a system up till the new version's posted.  Our promise of Avatars on the BBs will come true with this new version, so please send us an image you would like under your name when you post on the BBs.  This can be any size (…we'll crop and reduce to spec…) and can be pretty much anything (…taste limited…), just email us your Avatar and when the system goes back online, we'll take care of you.


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