08:45am Feb28, 2002 

The manhunt is on!  Seems this morning's drive in to work was hampered severely in the Oakville, Mississauga area as the Police condoned off all the major highways in order to trap a man on the run after a Car-jacking in Burlington turned into a high speed chase which ended in Mississauga (…near the Abattoir…) when Officers of the OPP shot the driver.  Now they're searching for the passenger who fled on foot…  Tell you one thing, Police in Canada do NOT appreciate being shot at!  I don't think I've seen this many cruisers in a long time, the 403, 407 and other major routes have been literally shut down making the drive in this morning absolute hell.

sdnm sd oiew sd fsosdihwegi sd gds g, I cry for you!Anyone watch the Grammy's last night? <GriN!>  If you're a Bob Dylan fan and watched Mr. Mumble Mouth blither out his song last night, could you please provide me with a transcript of the songs lyrics…  All I caught was “I cry for you”, here's what I heard: "lksd dmsv lsdk sdljkv ,..,, mm m mm mmm, I cry for you! dskfjsdlkj fdggfdoi fdg fd io3209 sdkj sd fsdkf sdf d f dsfdsf" *falls down*  Man, is it just me or is he annoying to try and listen to?  No, Bob…  It's not a “style”, enunciate Captain Marble Mouth.  (…the only singer other than Stevie Nicks that needs closed captioning when they “sing”…)  And shave that stupid little moustache off, you look like a child molester.

Let's all give Jack van den Kieboom (…dudio…) a hand!  This morning we received an email from Jack telling us his Brother Doug is in a band called “Northern Grass” (...now that I have your attention, LoneFart...) and they're trying to beat another local band in a “Top 100 Bluegrass Website” vote.  The band they're trying to beat have been flooding emails out to get people to vote for them, so Jack's asking for your help!  Right now, take a quick second and go here, hit the Blue Vote Button to cast a vote for Doug's band.  If you do, I'll give you another years free subscription to Abattoir.Net  (…what a deal!..)  You can vote once every 24 hours, let's see how many loyal Abattoir Readers we have…


08:25am Feb25, 2002 

#1 in the World!What a beautiful sunrise this morning, it's 14c (57F) and the sky is bright, well, almost “golden” you could say!  What a remarkable weekend of Olympic Hockey, Canada proves to the World, without a doubt, that after all's said and done, it is indeed “a Canadian game!”  Even with a corrupt US Referee, the woman's Hockey Team thrashes the US playing almost the entire game short handed as the US officials arm snapped up like a mouse trap every time a Canadian player touched a US player, who's arm suddenly was rendered paralysed when we were on the other end of the stick…  Still, with all that, we took Gold.  Now the men's Hockey Team, who's not taken Gold in the Olympics in my lifetime, brings it all home to Canada 50 years to the day it was last done in what many are calling Deja ’72.  Way to go, teams!  You've made us all very proud…  CNN.com said it well; “Salt Lake City hosted a star-studded Closing Ceremonies, but Canada's celebration was even bigger Sunday. After a 50 year absence, Canada returned to the top of the men's ice hockey podium to claim Olympic gold for the birthplace of the sport, defeating the United States 5-2.”  And BammBamm put it all in perspective; “All is now right in the Hockey Universe.”  Now let's take home our other national treasure, the real big one, Lord Stanley's Cup is homesick.

After the clock wound down last night the air horns in the Abattoir were running full blast and you could hear the car horns and whooping coming from every corner of the nation…  I wonder if anyone else made it to work today?


05:15pm Feb20, 2002 

DoH!Okay, some quick thoughts and ramblings…  As some of you may know (…about 2 of you…) I threw my back out about six months ago, it was in a tragic and masculine moment when I sneezed in the shower (…Oh, the humanity!..) and since then, have been seeing a chiropractor to straighten out my posture.  I admit that when I'm slouched over my computers (…which is about 16 hours a day…) I look more like a King Shrimp curled over my keyboard than a human.  Now I'm at the cross-roads, I just can't afford the 10 second “crack-dance” at $30 a pop (…sorta’ speak…).  I've just gone in for my “progress” scan and evaluation to see how I'm doing, and frankly, I think he still wants to see me.  I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy and all, but I just can't afford this relationship any longer…  I mean, in the beginning it was fun, you know, exciting, new.  But now I'm starting to see that he just want's to see me for my money…  The “results” from my scan are in on Friday, when we'll meet again to “talk”.  I think, no… I'm sure, he's going to ask me for a commitment!  Anyone out there have any good advice on how to break-up with a chiropractor?

Another weird thing just happened!  I'm home on a half day off (…I knew the rendezvous with the chiropractor would be trying…) and outside the Abattoir there's a street crossing.  Since there's a school behind us, there's a crossing guard there.  Well…  Her shift was just over I guess and she was “leaving”, so she looked both ways, held up her little stop-sign-on-a-stick thing, and walked herself across the street to her own car all the while swinging her head from left to right about five times while she stiffly scuffed across the street checking for traffic at this 4-Way stop.  There wasn't a car anywhere!?  I dunno'…  It must be me, but I found that disturbing. I think she's going to be back tomorrow. *withdraws to happy place*

Great news as we enter the next Hockey Game of our Olympics, the Swedish Team has folded like so much Ikea furniture and are now out of medal contention (…they can, however, be reassembled within minutes with a small Allan Key…)  Game On!  We're here watching the late game tonight if you're popping by!


06:30pm Feb16, 2002 

You mean I can have it now?!Very hard to get angry with GameSpy Industries, what with their generous contribution to the BTM’s, but I think I’ve just about had my fill of FilePlanet.  All week everyone’s been waiting for Command and Conquer: Renegade to be released.  It’s out, and as such, so is just about every downloading fiend out there.  I went to FilePlanet to grab my copy and take a flying friggin’ guess at how long I had to “wait in line” to download it?  467 minutes!!  Are you fu@king CraZy!?  I guess I was, because I hit the “Okay, place me in a state of coma” button and waited.  Well take a guess at what just happened when the 467 minutes finally elapsed?  It cut me out of the line and slapped me right back at the beginning.  You can just take a guess at the Deer Caught in the Headlights look that appeared on my face when that happened.

As such, I think it’s time I take a moment and “harp” about the Abattoir SuperFTP+ Server (…which you’ll be able to grab your copy off with no waiting…) and what we’re doing with it.  The Web Portal Abattoir SuperFTP Server will be making its debut shortly, I’ve been working like a madman on it and although it’s far from ready to make its appearance, let’s just say it’ll be a Godsend for you file hungry gamers out there.  You don’t need an account to use it, you don’t wait in line, you just click and go!  Soon, Folks…  Soon.


07:42pm Feb14, 2002 

I've just been "corrected" on my last correction.  Apparently I'm Married, some thing called common-law.  "Not that it matters" (..her words...)  I'm calling my attourney!  CorpsE, you're sleeping in the garage from now on


07:40pm Feb14, 2002 

kay…   Seems I’m under attack by both the Abattoir Readers and Isis.  (…can’t a guy catch a break!..)  The last update seems to be in question with reference to the last phrase, particularly “…Stunning that I'm still single, isn't it?..”, which if you’ll notice has been edited.  Firstly, it’s a joke on me, I’m not “single” in the sense of High School “single”, I’m “attached”, which is to say, I’m “seeing someone” but not Married.  I’m bashing on myself here folks, it’s a comic technique.  (…Note to self: Do not ever attempt anything comical on or around Valentine’s Day or your dick will be nailed to a coffee table…)  Please except my apologies for the “Clerical Error” (…and stop reading what I’m typing, MJ!  I can see your reflection in my monitor…)  Now take a peek at these flowers!  I am romantic!  You think these things grow on trees or something!?  (…’er, never mind…)  I can’t wait till St. Patty’s Day, at least I can’t screw that one up!  (…and she loved the Arby’s…)  Oh yeah, and Cupid’s a fag, just take a look at those diapers!


11:30am Feb14, 2002 
Eat Me!Seems our “Dealing with Cheaters” link was picked-up by Fargo at GameSpy this morning.  Haha!  Beat you to that one, Fargo!  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, looks like OldSkool broke the record for cancellation for a BTM LAN Party, he signed-up, then cancelled all within about 20 minutes.  Well done.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  Well, at least for the women out there…  For the guys, it's going to be a busy day dodging the bullet and always wondering if that six pack of coupons for McDonald's says “I Love You” enough for your woman.  Regardless, don't forget to call your Mom and wish her a Happy V-Day, cuz you know your Father's forgot. (…Hmm, “V-Day”, kinda’ sounds an awful lot like “D-Day”, doesn't it?..)  I'm off to pick-up my Sweetheart's V-Day stuph, a lovely bouquet of flowers, and an Arby's Roast Beef and Cheddar Sandwich!  (…Stunning that I'm not married yet, isn't it?..)


10:00pm Feb13, 2002 
This goes where?Good grief, is all this “rearranging” going to ever end?  First off, I'm pleased to say my wallet has made an appearance.  As it turns out, it was indeed lost in the massive “Lab Reconstruction” and turned up in my digital photo printer's paper tray (?) so all's well now.  I certainly hope you don't think I was jumping the gun when I posted it was suspected stolen, remember, that post was made well over a week and change after the BTM and massive search efforts were put in place to find it.  I refused to believe that someone would actually steal from me and kept insisting that it must be here somewhere…  Only after ten days of searching, was I forced to deal with the pain and reality (…or so it seemed at the time…) that my wallet was in fact “removed” and I made that post hoping that the culprit would come forward.  All I can say is thank God that was not the case, I think you'd all have a hard time trying to imagine my disappointment in thinking there was a thief amongst us.  Thanks for all your letters of support and comfort which ranged from sympathy and disbelief to offers of arranging a lynch mob.

News on the Abattoir SuperFTP+, it's coming back home to the Abattoir tomorrow.  Our little test was a half success, as far as bandwidth goes; on the new pipe we received reports of download speeds in excess of 300 K/sec!!  Sure will be nice, but until the Static IP goes in and other “issues” with Nexxia are dealt with, it's not practical to keep it on the pipe, so by tomorrow evening it'll be resting back at the Abattoir with a semi-static IP again.

Way Cool!As you're all aware, 24 hours after the date announcement for our 30th BTM, we're booked in a large way, so it's time to show you one of the little door prizes I've picked-up for the BTM.  Some lucky person will walk with this fine little unit…  It's a solid-state, 64 Meg pen-pocket Hard Drive.  No batteries, no moving parts, no installation needed!  You just pop off the cap on the end and ram it (…excuse the pun…) into your USB port and DinG!  One instantly accessible “Removable Mass Storage Device” appears in your “My Computer” window.  It shows up just like another Hard Drive…  You can drag files to it, move them to work or a friends house!  It's perfect for moving large graphic files, movie files, backing up, whatever!  Guaranteed to retain data for over 10 years, and guess what else!  It's actually washing machine safe!  (…I know this from personal experience, of course we don't recommend you run yours through the washing machine, but hey, at least you know it's durable!…)  It's less than 9 cm in length, weights almost nothing and works so great I've bought two myself!  Anyway, someone will win this palm sized Hard Drive at BTM30!  Good luck to everyone.  Quick topic curve: Take a quick peek at what can happen to you if you're caught cheating at a LAN Party!

What the hell was that on Monday with the Canadian skate team!?  Damned, every time I hear the Olympic Theme I just want to run out and bribe someone!  I'm not even going to get into it, the Olympics suck anyway, this just puts the icing on that overblown political joke of an "event".


02:55pm Feb04, 2002 
Winter has hit the Abattoir, and I guess it’s about time…  While our hero, CreacH ran survival tactics in Winnipeg enduring –40c, our temperature in southern Ontario sat at a comfortable 13.5c!  No more, we finally received a little snow (…looks like our Winter will be a total of 3 or 4 weeks in length…).  Either way, it’s never too cold to Quake (…Puny, huh?..)  For the observant Abattoir reader out there, you’ll notice our Banner has been “altered”.  BTM30’s scheduled for March 23rd, 2002!  It’s an Anniversary BTM too, so sign-up now or be left out of “BTM30 – SPAMaversary Tournament Edition”!  The Battle royal will take place Saturday as we find out “who’s got the SPAM”.  Champ walks with an official can of Abattoir SPAM and braggin’ rights, plus there’s going to be a Door Prize (…as usual on Anniversary BTMs…)  Get your name in!

Umm...  The Black Wire is the Hot one, right!?For those who actually peek at the MeatCAM from time to time will notice the rather dramatic change that’s slowly taking place in the Abattoir Lab.  We were putting up a new auto-thermostat sensitive ceiling fan yesterday and of course Viking/Madball saw it on the MeatCAM.  He took a screenshot and sent it in showing a bunch of us on a ladder working away above the cameras view with the caption “How many Abattoir Staff Members does it take to change a lightbulb?”  Very funny!  I’ll have you know that turbo-prop fan from hell weights about 40 pounds!

Are there any other colours in the USA?Everyone enjoy the Superbowl yesterday?  Did anyone spot any American flags during the game at all?  I was watching, but I don’t think I saw any. <SarchasM!> My God, is America ever going to “settle down” about their “We’re #1” patriotism bantering…  I wonder if they even realize how sick it’s starting to make the rest of the world?  We moved to the TV upstairs thinking the Media Room's monitor was broken and only showing three colours!  Oh well, to each his/her own.  Bono’s half-time show was outstanding to say the least, I’m not sure, but I think the inside of his coat had a flag in it <GriN!>.  Somehow, the whole Superbowl became a "Fu@k-You, Bin Laden" show rather than a Football game, but fun none the less.  If he’s not dead already, I sure hope Osama was watching.  He's probably more upset than the Rams.

One quick note:  I would appreciate whoever it was that took my wallet at BTM29 complete with my Palm Pilot in it and all my cards and identification, return it immediately…  It would really mean a lot to me that I don’t walk around this planet thinking that when I open my home to people and extend my trust and hospitality that I’m not going to get robbed by a guest.  You know who you are and I hope you’ll do the right thing and return my hard worked for property, it does not belong to you.  No questions will be asked, I just want my property back in tact, it’s making me sick to think someone has stolen from me.  Thank you in advance.


MeatMan Says:
"If you're new to Abattoir.Net and want to get to know what we're all about, sit back with a cup of joe or a brew and cruise through the ramblings of the past"

All images, content, site design and maintenance by Craig (MeatMan) Milton - All Rights®
"Bringing people together... so you can blow them apart!"