11:59pm Apr15, 2005 

Time has finally come to announce BTM47 "Breakfast" Edition's date!  Okay, so what the hell is with "Breakfast" Edition?   We know it's a lame name but it'll also be over-easy or sunny-side up -- by popular demand, the Early-Bird MegaBreakfast is back.  We're going to have some serious spatulas swinging like Samaria swords BTM morning as guest chef Commander X joins in to help break some yokes, don't eat for three days prior to this BTM; eggs, Canadian back bacon, hash browns, pancakes, sausages, toast, BBQ Pineapple, cotton-candy, whatever artery clogging filler it takes!  Then, we shoot each other very loudly -- there will be two DVD Burners given out at BTM47, one for the person with the best hat, the other -- I'll make something up...  Members of course get "bump" privileges, but it's open sign-up -- the Summer is coming fast, this BTM will help bridge the gap between Mother's Day and May Two-Four Weekend...  Yummy, have you tried the Plazma-dip?

What great news we have for the gaming world...  On April 06th, while you were all laughing at the Burger King 911 call, Ken (Impaired) MacDowell (...the present victim in the forums of a PhotoChopping drive-by...) and Tara were busy at the hospital producing the latest in gaming technology...  Congratulations you two, little Liam is a gem -- He was born at 2:15am, sporting 9.1lbs of himself and has fingers like Edward Scissorhands, this little guy is going to slaughter at Quake5 so keep sharp you Old-Fart clan folk, there's a new kid to laugh at us...  We dropped in Sunday to see the newbie and make sure Dad was massaging Mom's feet (...and drink beer...)

One good birth deserves another...  It's been "under wraps" for a bit while we tested, but we feel it's time to make it more public -- If you like a little Counter Strike Source from time to time, keep the Abattoir's Dedicated CS Server in your happy list...  A public server is now available to thump on 24/7, feel free to shoot at things, crouch behind stuph, reload, pant then spring up and die before you had a chance to pull the #uc5ing trigger!  I'm a noob to the game I have to admit, but man does it grow on you; I'll be the wallpaper in the corner, but I have a super-cool Logo if you want to use it too.  You can hit the server under "Abattoir.Net CS Server01" in your browser, or just use the handy url: counterstrike.abattoir.net


09:00pm Apr06, 2005 

A friend of mine emailed me a really funny audio file today, it was this woman that called a friend after she pooped her pants -- thanks, I've heard it; wonder where he got that from *smirk*  Since the sound files appear to be a good source of fun, we thought another couldn't hurt...  In today's fun clip, a woman is parked outside Burger King and calls 911 -- she explains to the bewildered emergency operator, that she can't get her burger cooked "her way" and wants the police to come down and show Burger King who's King...  As you can hear in the clip, she already has spawn, too bad; this is proof the human gene-pool needs more chlorine.   Thanks to zCereal for showing us this one (listen)

Ever use a web-based mapping site to get directions?  Ever follow those directions and find out that XYZ Corp. is not actually located in the corn field you're standing in?  There's a new site to check, and it's already stamped with my seal of approval -- the folks at Google have another toy for us all to play with, and lookie-lookie, it has satellite images in high resolution!  Still in the beta stage, but very much worth a play on is maps.google.com -- just type your address in (or as much as you know of it) and blammo!  There's your map, now click the upper-right selection for Satellite and you're looking at your roof-top from space!  I paid over $40 years back for a grainy black & white satellite image of the Abattoir as seen from space, the images that Google are feeding kick anything I've seen yet, and they're free!


12:30pm Apr02, 2005 

Yet another Abattoir.Net exclusive -- after posting the "Jack in the Box" voice mail in February which resulted in over 5,000 hits so far, we figure our readers enjoy a laugh...  with thanks to Girliegirl from Brooklyn, we now present "Oops!  I pooped my pants!"  Girliegirl posted on Abattoir.BBs, a voice mail left on her machine the other day when a friend called in desperation after she had an accident slightly different than the one featured in our "Jack in the Box" post, what can you do when you poop yourself?  Depends. (listen)


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