has finally come to announce BTM47 "Breakfast"
Edition's date! Okay, so what the hell is
with "Breakfast" Edition?
We know it's a lame name but it'll also be over-easy
or sunny-side up -- by popular demand, the Early-Bird
MegaBreakfast is back. We're going to have
some serious spatulas swinging like Samaria swords
BTM morning as guest chef Commander X joins in to
help break some yokes, don't eat for three days
prior to this BTM; eggs, Canadian back bacon, hash
browns, pancakes, sausages, toast, BBQ Pineapple,
cotton-candy, whatever artery clogging filler it
takes! Then, we shoot each other very loudly
-- there will be two DVD Burners given out at BTM47,
one for the person with the best hat, the other
-- I'll make something up... Members of course
get "bump" privileges, but it's open sign-up
-- the Summer is coming fast, this BTM will help
bridge the gap between Mother's Day and May Two-Four
Weekend... Yummy, have you tried the Plazma-dip?
great news we have for the gaming world...
On April 06th, while you were all laughing at the
King 911 call, Ken (Impaired)
MacDowell (...the present victim in the forums of
a PhotoChopping drive-by...) and Tara were busy
at the hospital producing the latest in gaming technology...
Congratulations you two, little Liam is a gem --
He was born at 2:15am, sporting 9.1lbs of himself
and has fingers like Edward Scissorhands, this little
guy is going to slaughter at Quake5 so keep sharp
you Old-Fart clan folk, there's a new kid to laugh
at us... We dropped in Sunday to see the newbie
and make sure Dad was massaging Mom's feet (...and
One good birth deserves another... It's been
"under wraps" for a bit while we tested,
but we feel it's time to make it more public --
If you like a little Counter Strike Source from
time to time, keep the Abattoir's Dedicated CS Server
in your happy list... A public server is now
available to thump on 24/7, feel free to shoot at
things, crouch behind stuph, reload, pant then spring
up and die before you had a chance to pull the #uc5ing
trigger! I'm a noob to the game I have to
admit, but man does it grow on you; I'll be the
wallpaper in the corner, but I have a super-cool
Logo if you want to use
it too. You can hit the server under "Abattoir.Net
CS Server01" in your browser, or just use the
handy url: counterstrike.abattoir.net
friend of mine emailed me a really funny audio file
today, it was this woman that called a friend after
she pooped her pants -- thanks, I've heard it; wonder
where he got that from *smirk* Since the sound
files appear to be a good source of fun, we thought
another couldn't hurt... In today's fun clip,
a woman is parked outside Burger King and calls
911 -- she explains to the bewildered emergency
operator, that she can't get her burger cooked "her
way" and wants the police to come down and
show Burger King who's King... As you can
hear in the clip, she already has spawn, too bad;
this is proof the human gene-pool needs more chlorine.
Thanks to zCereal for showing us this one
use a web-based mapping site to get directions?
Ever follow those directions and find out that XYZ
Corp. is not actually located in the corn field
you're standing in? There's a new site to
check, and it's already stamped with my seal of
approval -- the folks at Google have another toy
for us all to play with, and lookie-lookie, it has
satellite images in high resolution! Still
in the beta stage, but very much worth a play on
-- just type your address in (or as much as you
know of it) and blammo! There's your map,
now click the upper-right selection for Satellite
and you're looking at your roof-top from space!
I paid over $40 years back for a grainy black &
white satellite image of the Abattoir as seen from
space, the images that Google are feeding kick anything
I've seen yet, and they're free!
another Abattoir.Net exclusive -- after posting
the "Jack in the Box" voice
mail in February which resulted in over 5,000
hits so far, we figure our readers enjoy a laugh...
with thanks to Girliegirl from Brooklyn, we now
present "Oops! I pooped my pants!"
Girliegirl posted on Abattoir.BBs, a voice mail
left on her machine the other day when a friend
called in desperation after she had an accident
slightly different than the one featured in our
"Jack in the Box" post, what can you do
when you poop yourself? Depends.
"If you're new to Abattoir.Net and want to get to know what
we're all about, sit back with a cup of joe or a brew and cruise
through the ramblings of the past"