Wed Jul28, 2004
I can't wait to kick Mohammed II around again with
my Futureshop sequel, my blood went to a boil yesterday
over a more widely hated company which I must now
poop on, specifically, Microsoft. Over the
weekend the Abattoir saw the rebuild of several
computers and the creation of some new ones for
work; one such machine would be the President's
unit. Upon return to work on Monday, the new
units were set-up and the loading continued as company
specific applications and tweaks were done.
To my embarrassment, it seemed the Presidents' machine
only had 64meg of RAM, this would barely be enough
to support the new added bloatware of Windows XP,
so off I went to Tomken
Technologies (...who are also pulling Cedar
SPAM Springs water coolers from their place of business
by request...) and grabbed a stick of the good stuff.
I returned to the office, installed it, turned the
computer back on and, Whamo! "Your clocks
date is invalid!" pops up on reboot -- this
was followed seconds later by "You must activate
your copy of Windows XP Professional now!"
and the computer refused to boot beyond this pont.
I don't usually activate XP until I finish loading
the basic applications and such, but apparently
Microsoft's paranoid "you're trying to screw
us" filter was activated by the new stick of
RAM and now my 30 day "grace" period had
been zapped. I
have every intension of taping one of these calls
to Microsofts' Activation Centre, just so I can
showcase point-by-point how much it blows...
First you have to endure their female computer activation
chick who takes your entire 25 digit product activation
number slowly, patronizing you for being a good
monkey between each block of numbers, only to tell
you when you finally finish that she's unable to
help you and will be transferring you to a customer
service rep. Now I'm forced to repeat the
entire slew of numbers to the representative, even
though I just spent 8 minutes telling the computer
attendant this number -- seems Microsoft's not figured
a way to get their computers to talk to each other,
they should get a hold of a networking company to
help them with that... Now you have to understand
one thing, when you're forced to call the activation
centre, it's because you've been bad and they are
assuming that you are trying to steal Christmas
from them... You are basically guilty by nature
of the call and now must plea your case with the
all-mighty, all-seeing know-it-all... "I'm
sorry, we can't activate this copy of Windows, it's
already been activated..." I'm told -- this
is the same crap I go through every time and frankly
it's getting a little tired; I explained that the
machine this copy was on, has been upgraded and
this is a new install, "this license is running
on this computer only" I explained to him...
Want to hear what Microsofts' representative told
me? "Once you activate an 'OEM' version
of Windows XP on a machine, it's married to that
machine and can never be activated again."
-- Now I even qualified the guy with this follow-up
question; "...so, I have a new computer and
have bought, installed and activated Windows XP
Professional OEM version on it; two weeks later
my computer is hit by lightning and reduced to a
smoldering ingot... You're telling me I can't
use this same, two week old copy on the new machine
I build to replace the one that was taken out by
lightning?" He said "...that's right,
you have to buy Windows XP Professional Upgrade
version... That's why the OEM version is so
cheap, it can only be installed and activated once."
*I blinked* Who the hell ARE these people
and how did they get on my planet?! This guy
must have worked as tech support for Cgocable in
Burlington before coming over to Microsoft (...after
having connection issues with my cable modem, I
called Cgocable's tech support to ask what was up
with their network -- after she ran a few 'tests'
remotely, I was instructed to "reinstall my
operating system to fix the problem", hand
to God folks!..) Completely unable to help
me, I told the dude "Guess it really is time
to move over to Linux." his reply; "Thank-you
for calling Microsoft." *bangs head*
I waited a couple moments, then tried to activate
it again, this time it went though -- how interesting.
birthday Isis! - 04:00pm
Thu Jul22, 2004
six weeks and not one LAN Minutes update... Yes,
we suck. Let's have ourselves a little update on
the happenings around Abattoir.Net then shall we?
My beloved aunt Monica and her porn star companion Chase
have returned to England after their recent visit to the
family and their first peek at Myles other than on a webcam...
We love Monica and Chase, they are fun, energetic, down
to Earth, can drink and are right proper if my 'English'
is to snuff; we have been trying to convince Mon &
Chaz to levitate to Canada and help us pay taxes -- there's
been some interest shown, so to sweeten I will point out
some advantages as I know she reads the Abattoir hourly.
First, our electrical outlets completely kick your outlets
asses... We have 'plugs' on our appliances and gadgets,
you guys over there have some huge, monster, whole-hand
sized, Frankenstein outfits on the end of your cords that
Canadians here would use to power a circus ride, we feel
you're overcompensating and frankly, they look silly.
Second, 60hz (...helps the epileptics...) Plus there's
great wonders here like Niagara Falls, Dalton McGinty
and Magnetic Hill. Come to the dark side; bring
your Nanny outfit, Monica. We love you.
Thanks to everyone that joined us for BTM44, our Summer
opener means the closing of the Abattoir BTMs as we take
time to enjoy the great Canadian Summer (...which is much
dryer and warmer than England's Summer...) The cottage
begs our attention, LAN Central gets some finishing touches
and some new 'features' installed and it's time to sit
in the sun and enjoy what we've been waiting for all Winter...
Mosquitoes and smog advisories. There is however
some great game news that demands attention too: Doom
3 is finished and it's hitting the shelves on August 2nd! (...no
really this time, we mean it!...) We will be hosting
a weekend "gathering" for those who want to
come over and try Doom 3 on a new über machine built
in anticipation, connected to a couple thousand watts
of 5.1 sound and the Abattoir.Net Wall of Quake (...or
the 'flame thrower' as it's known...) There's no
sign-up for this, it's not a BTM, it's not even really
a mini-BTM, but you can count on cold beer and hot pizza,
stay tuned to the Minutes, we'll let you know when it's
have tons of news to write about, such as Cedar SPAM Springs
paying me a visit at work just the other day, but I'd
much rather save this space to mention that today is Isis'
birthday! Please feel free to load her email
up with birthday wishes from near and far since her own
parents as of this writing have not remembered yet and
she's just not feeling the love... Take a jump to
the Abattoir.BBs and post your love here!
I on the other hand, being the loving and romantic person
that I am, surprised her beyond her wildest dreams with
a new windshield for her car... Yup, I'm one hell
of a catch.
for your reading pleasure; MeatMan goes off on another
rant about another crap company... Allow me to sink
my fangs into Futureshop. This company presents
itself as one of the worst places on Earth to purchase
anything that's over $16 unless you enjoy anal rape.
A couple of weeks back I popped over to Futureshop to
grab a wireless router for the office; I knew exactly
what it was I needed and I knew exactly where in the store
it was located, I also knew I was in for another round
of cat and mouse with their sales dorks. I walked
up to the product and was instantly pounced upon by Mohammed
who asked if I needed any help (...nothing wrong with
that...) I turned my head to the left, smiled at him and
said, "Thank-you no... I'm fine and don't require
any help, thanks." -- he said no problem and began
to walk away, as I turned my head back toward the rack
of electronic goodies in front of me, I jumped when I
noticed my personal space being violated by the head of
Mohammed II who had flanked me from the right with incredible
stealth while I was speaking to sales-unit 1; with Mohammed
II "the close talker" about 12 inches from my
face, he asked if I needed any help, which to me seemed
rather odd since there's no way in hell he didn't just
hear what I said less than 3 seconds ago to the last guy...
Annoyed already, I said "...no! I don't need
any help, I know what I'm after, thank-you!"
He took one step backwards (...which now placed him less
than three feet away from me...) and said "...I'll
be right here if you need me.", I looked at him as
he stood there and gawked, "I can see that..."
I said. My hand reached out and I grabbed the LinkSys
Router I came for. Before I could even pull the
box closer to me, Mohammed II jumps forward again, "Sir!
We have the Microsoft Base Station on sale right now,
there's a rebate on the LinkSys, but with the Microsoft
Base you get..." I cut him off mid-pitch by raising
my hand like a crossing guard right in his face (...since
he seem to like getting in my face, I felt I was within
social tolerance getting in his...) "...I do
NOT require any help, I do not WANT any help, I'll ask
once more that you leave me alone." I barked.
He backed off and once again threatened me that he would
be close. I was also in the market for a new Laptop,
so with the Router in hand, I started to move around to
the next isle to browse the selection... I had just
started to shift my weight and didn't even get one foot
in front of the other when Mohammed II sprung, "How
will you be paying for that, Sir?" as his outstretched
hand snapped for the Router I was holding like a chemeleon's
tonge nailing prey... Now at this point, I've been
in Futureshop less than 3 minutes and I've been assaulted
4 times already, my temples grew veins and started pulsing
like an alien on Star Trek... Apparently F*uck-off
is the only phrase this guy will understand, but I'm above
that (...so far...) and since I was out of pepper spray
I had to deal with this static-cling dick-wad with words,
"Would you mind if I continue to shop!? Get
the hell away from me!" -- I walked around the corner
to the adjacent isle containing Laptops and the tracking
started... Every move I made was countered by Mohammed
II like he was a friggin' mirror, I started to literally
feel uncomfortable as I felt his stare beating the back
of my head, I could almost feel his breath on my neck
for crying out loud. The issue here is, these poor
slobs are all on commission, they must get paid about
$8 a day and two soda crackers, the rest is coin they
get whenever they ring your sale in and attempt to ram
a useless extended warranty down your throat, I also find
this annoyingly redundant since they stop you at the door
and re-ring-in your purchase before you can leave anyway...
This guy had annoyed the hell out of me and I'll be damned
if he's getting one cent off me for his harassment; I
knew I was going to have to lose him and I knew it was
going to be tough. I started looking at all the
Laptops, each time I put one down, Mohammed II's head
swivelled toward me awaiting that chance to nail that
.75¢ commission. I had to fake him out, I placed
the Router down, and moved to pick-up the next Laptop;
thinking I was going to be looking at it for a couple
seconds at least, Mohammed II turned back towards the
other customer he was stalking... This was my chance,
like a well executed head-fake, I snatched the Router
and literally started to run towards the cashier, Mohammed
II sped into action, with his hand raised and waving franticly
he shouted "I can ring that in for you here, Sir!"
and he started to run after me, "Not a damned chance!"
I yelled back as I sprinted for the cashiers. This
to me was a horrible shopping experience, but paled in
comparison to what happened two days later at this same
store in Mississauga when I returned for more abuse...
Check back for part II -- "MeatMan tries to buy two
Sony LCD Monitors at Futureshop without a taser gun".
For this adventure in self abuse, I even brought my Mother
with me to help run blocker.
"If you're new to Abattoir.Net and want to get to know what
we're all about, sit back with a cup of joe or a brew and cruise
through the ramblings of the past"