Just about impossible to listen to the news on the radio, let alone the additional impact of images on television...  As most everyone in Ontario knows, if not across Canada, 39-year-old Const. Chris Garrett, an 18-year veteran officer serving in Cobourg, Ontario, was laid to rest this afternoon; the images are emotional and the story tragic.  There were over three thousand officers in the procession which I would call a silent moving wall of blue, they came from all over North America.  Garrett's 12-year-old Son gave a eulogy that would make your heart sink, asking the officers to remember him, "My dad was not just a hero to this town, he was also my hero and always will be...".  The entire town essentially shut-down today at 1:00pm so most could attend.  Even the Blues Brothers (Canadian Dan Aykroyd and his American Blues Brothers' sidekick Jim Belushi) are upset over the slaying.  Premier Dalton McGuinty was present and told the service, "In an age when we are fascinated by celebrity, when we mistake our celebrities and sports stars for heroes, Chris Garrett was a hero," (full story)

Then Mr. McGuinty proceeded to pretend he did not anally violate every working sole in Ontario; what a full day he's had, huh?  I get great pleasure listening to the crew of CFRB1010 (listen) push buttons and issues as Bill Carroll gave out Dalton's phone number this morning every 1.7 minutes, flooding his office like a denial of service attack; "We want a referendum!" being yelled...  Paul and Carrol Mott at noon took the torrent of calls from pissed Ontarians; Paul didn't suggest you cheat the Tax Man, but the Abattoir now accepts cash (...Oops!  Did I type that out loud?..) Along comes John Moore and more calls...  (this was not a commercial) There are some real pissed people roaming the streets this day; I think we need a little more American Knee Jerk here, didn't they have a party or something...  Served tea I think.  Ontario's budget will not stop BTM44, I'll sign a document saying that!  (...apparently signatures don't mean too much now-a-days...)

There are few things that tick-me-off...  Liars (Our own elected Fiberal Premier's image flashes), Killers (Troy Davey, 18, charged with first-degree murder in Garrett's death), and management without moral (enter Cedar SPAM Springs).  Wonder why they've not returned my emails?  I thought I was rather civil (...at first...) but I guess they just don't want to take responsibility in an appropriate fashion for their own actions by paying my requested .10¢ and sending a letter of apology for their distasteful choice in marketing after they sent SPAM to my personal cell phone (...forgive the run-on sentence, but I'm salivating right now...)  Perhaps email isn't their bag, let's give the fax machine a shot!  Two faxes have been fired to their office now a day apart, you can read all about it on the Abattoir.BBs - As of noon today, we've "unlocked" the Abattoir.BBs so you can now get in and read all the great crap without having to register.  Be warned, this is a public bulletin board filled with...  'um, "Public" -- Abattoir.Net takes no responsibility if you get all bent out of shape reading the stupidity; you're the people writing it, you just happen to be dumping it on our server.  There is foul language, nudity, animal testing and political incorrectness; so do not enter if you are a person who may be offended by words like piston, rocket, egg, flap-jack or Dalton.

Tomorrow's Friday, it's also a long weekend, the weather's also going to be crap in southern Ontario, thus we're heading to cottage country (...like the weather's a factor...)  BTM44 continues to fill, and we want you to be part of it!  Sign-up and dress nice, wear your best, brush your teeth because we're filming our promo...  Since we'll be gone and "off-line" for the weekend, don't get upset if your name does not appear on the Reservations Page after you grab a spot...  If you're coming to the Abattoir to deliver .10¢ and a soul rejuvenating and cleansing letter of regret, our sole spa is here for you, friend - an olive branch of praise in your moment of self-awareness... please leave it under the front mat, or ring the bell and take 'yer chances.  Do not drink and drive, you'll miss BTM44 in a way that will only get you added to a sad statistic log.  Peace.  (...we hope to have Game news when we come back...)

 

The Abattoir's LLAMA Tent is now back up and ready for BTM44, the grill has been cleaned, propane is chock full...  We are go for BBQ!  Don't miss out, get your reservation in now for our Summer opener before it fills, we're going to have all kinds of fun at this BTM, including a game of Spin the Cedar SPAM Springs Bottle, loser has to drink their water to wash down a BBQ fried SPAM sandwich (...the aftermath of which will be used in our next billboard ad...).  It's looking like Battlefield Vietnam and Unreal Tournament 2004 are going to be our games of choice for the BTM Tournament, but there's still time to vote and make your voice heard!  Take the poll (link removed for archive) on the Abattoir.BBs and help shape BTM44.

Apparently Cedar Springs either does not want to talk to me, does not have a clue how to answer me, or can't find a lawyer fast enough -- either way, they have still not responded to my request for compensation after their brilliant marketing department decided to test the waters of the cell phone carrying public with a large helping of steaming SPAM directing you to visit orderbottledwater.com, a site who's ambiguous master has been made public here and now we're steaming mad; so my 5th letter has been fired down the fibre to their mail server (...this time we're tracking, and we know their server got it - I can see you through your TV, Cedar Springs!..)  The full story in its entire length continues to grow on the Abattoir.BBs and we invite you to send a letter to our friends at Cedar SPAM Springs, tell them what you think!  Next step, we show with a High Definition video team at their doorstep -- I suggest you answer me now, you'll have a hard time ignoring me while my Hi-Def f1.8 lens is up your ass.

From: MeatMan Sent: Tue 5/18/2004 11:12 AM To: info@springh2o.com Cc: MeatMan; Steve DeRyck; Marijana K. Milton; editor@abattoir.net Subject: I was wondering where my .10¢ was, Cedar Springs?

This letter is a follow up... I have now sent a total of 4 emails; I have yet to receive an answer from Cedar Springs directly. On your web site you proudly state that "Our mission is to provide the best quality, service and attention..." I trust this is not an example of what you would refer to as "service". The emails I refer to are from Tuesday, April 13 (03:22pm), Thursday April 15 (11:15am), Friday May 07 (09:51am) and Tuesday May 05 (09:24am) (full transcripts are available on Abattoir.Net). I am asking a very simple question, so I'll type REAL slow this time: "You sent SPAM to my personal cell phone under the URL of orderbottledwater.com; I tracked your company down within 3 minutes of the offence and requested compensation in the form of .10¢ cash, plus a letter of apology from Cedar Springs - when can I expect this?" -- neither of these have happened, nor have you replied. Shall I just show up at your door with a camera team then? Contact has been made with the Canadian Bottled Water Association (http://www.cbwa-bottledwater.org/) as well as the Better Business Bureau (http://complaints.bbb.org) since you seem reluctant to answer me. Many people following the story on Abattoir.Net (http://www.abattoir.net) are also wondering why no one at Cedar Springs has come forward... I'll break this email down into little pieces and I'll even number the points so you can assign different people at Cedar Springs each task as this appears to be something that one person there cannot handle: 1) Send .10¢ cash to my address for compensation of the costs incurred by myself on your behalf when you sent unsolicited email to my personal mobile phone in form of a text message reading "I know you’ve been looking for a great water company that delivers. I found one, go to orderbottledwater.com, for great pricing and service.” 2) I would like a letter of apology from Cedar Springs and assurance that this completely unacceptable form of both intrusive and morally bankrupt advertising has been discontinued by your marketing department. 3) I require a return email from this contact. We're not very impressed with your company at this moment in time, we don't go away, we just get pissed-off, so I suggest you deal with this matter promptly and professionally (...try that once and see how it works for you...) Craig Milton Abattoir.Net

Temperatures continue to climb in southern Ontario, as do the gas prices.  Overnight, prices in the greater Toronto area topped themselves up about .11¢ a litre (...that's one cent more than the a-holes at Cedar SPAM Springs owe me...)  Wait a minute, isn't there a long weekend coming?  Oh I see what's happening; they'll hover .93¢ in our face for the week, then lower it to .86¢ on the weekend so we think we're getting a bargain!   I find it odd how gas can go up two cents a gallon in the States and someone at the oil company almost gets shot, yet here in Canada, our gas will jump a dozen cents for just one little liter and everyone shrugs and says; "well, I have to drive, so what are ya going to do!?"   Our fun, happy and well shaved Fiberal government are introducing their budget today too - guess what?  Beer is going up again...  I know, I know...  "But it just went up!?"  Don't fret, Lysol is still relatively cheap; now I understand why there's drive-by shootings.  Is it possible to vote for "no government"?

 

Time to drop the bomb!  With no further delay, we're thrilled to announce the official date for BTM44 'Carpet Bomb' Edition - our annual Summer opener!  Abattoir Members have first shot at registration so don't delay and don't miss out, this BTM will be a BBQ feast as we napalm meat to sizzling perfection.  Tournament details will follow and complete details will be posted on the Official BTM Portal Page along will any/all patches and extras you may need.  After the polls closed, it's obvious that June 26th is the date of choice (...by 72%...) and so the people have spoken!  We will not be allowing "drop ins", so if you want to join the carnage, you must sign-up!

We know this may seem almost impossible to believe, but the good Folks at Cedar SPAM Springs have yet to respond to my emails...  As it turns out, Mr. Gabbard is no longer employed by Cedar SPAM Springs now, so my last message was sent to every email address at Cedar SPAM Springs I could find...  Meanwhile, people are voicing their repugnance on the Abattoir.BBs over Cedar SPAM Springs lack of better judgment in this matter...  Have your say, login and join the discussion; post your comments and tell them what you think of their actions, be sure to take our Cedar SPAM Springs Poll too! (the BBS has an entire transcript of this event to date)

From: MeatMan Sent: Tue 5/11/2004 9:24 AM To: info@springh2o.com Cc: hr@springh2o.com; sales@springh2o.com; michaelgabbard@rogers.com Subject: Where's my .10¢ Cedar Springs?

Good morning… Attempting to find out who at Cedar Springs will be sending me the .10¢ cash money I demanded three weeks ago plus a letter of apology as compensation after I was SPAMMED by your company on my personal cell phone under the URL “orderbottledwater.com”. I have had several correspondence now with Michael Gabbard on this matter but as yet have no resolve and no compensation, I don’t like being ignored and I don’t feel it’s in Cedar Springs better interests to do so… You may want to know how many people are following this little story: to get caught up, please feel free to read the LAN Minutes on Abattoir.Net (http://www.abattoir.net) – there are two updates so far, one dated Friday, April 16th, the other Sunday, May 9th… Your companies advertising department has essentially been ‘caught’ and now you're being called out in a public forum – I expect an answer and resolve before the close of the week. Regards, Craig Milton

In our last email from Mr. Gabbard, he told us that "Cedar Springs is no long sending text messages. They have abandoned that marketing avenue, as far as I know." -- Good call, now I want to hear it from the horses mouth -- and I want my .10¢

Happy Mom Day to all the mothers out there; guess we have to be 'sensitive' around the Abattoir now that Mother's Day for me has gone from WAN to LAN; how can I do brunch with my 'mother' while the 'mother' of my son asks when we're heading to her 'mother's place for 'mothers' day, all the while wondering what she's getting for 'mothers' day from Dad, that being me. *bang*

As so many before can attest, spawn do change your life a bit; you simply have to adjust and adapt, it's really not that bad..  The only problem I've had so far, the new biological carbon based alarm unit has no snooze button, his belly button's broke off, I suspect the mute went with that too.  From the short time Isis and myself have been parents, we've noticed many things; unfortunately, neither of us can remember what they were.  So to this end, I salute all the "Momma"s out there, you deserve your day.

We would love to close off Mother's Day in a nice way, but I'm afraid we cannot...  Cedar Springs has left a bad taste with me and has thus ruined Mother's Day. *sniff*  If you recall, Cedar Springs "had inadvertently emailed a small series of cell phone numbers" a completely accidental chunk of SPAM; I have demanded retribution for their unprincipled actions in the form of .10¢ cash money.  Further, they have been spanked in a public forum for pursuit of coin in lieu of scruples; a follow-up has been sent:

From: Craig Milton Sent: Fri 5/7/2004 9:51 AM To: michaelgabbard@rogers.com Subject: Just wondering when we were going to hear from you again, Michael?

Good morning, Mr. Gabbard... I've waited over three weeks now and have yet to receive either a response from my last message, or the reimbursement I requested – has Cedar Springs lost my message, or did they think I was joking when I demanded .10¢ cash for compensation? Either way, I expect an answer and I’m certainly not the type of person to “go away”, so I suggest Cedar Springs address this issue with due haste, there’s a lot of people watching… Please also take note of the great exposure your company has been receiving on Abattoir.Net as your cell phone SPAM made for a rather lengthy Minutes update (Abattoir.Net gets 30,000 hits a month) that's sparked quite the topic on the bulletin board - I would think a company that sells water would know how to put out fires. …awaiting something other than a canned answer, I also want my .10¢ Regards, Craig Milton

So we'll see how long this takes...  Understand this, it's ALL about the principle here; you are human, you make mistakes, and for that there's understanding and forgiveness; you CAN save yourself.  A letter telling us that you have discontinued the "marketing idea" of sending SPAM to cell phones and have understood that this is NOT acceptable, plus say that you're "Sorry" and we'll shake hands. (plus I want my .10¢) <--I'm not joking

 

After 236 episodes stretching 10 years since its September 22nd, 1994 debut, we say our farewell to Friends as they join the Leaf's golfing.  Tonight at 9pm on Global, a special closing episode ends the comedy series that has only been rivaled by Seinfeld.  NBC is accepting 30 second ads for a meagre 2 million dollars a slot since it is expected that about 80 million people will be watching what's called the "television event of the year" tonight.  So is this really the end of Friends?  Not really, it'll live on immortal in syndication and DVD; I for one will miss the show Friends, in my view Seinfeld and Friends made up my television viewing time -- now all I have left is DiscoveryHD and Blind Date.  Thanks for all the laughs; I'm sure we'll be seeing more of Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler and Joey in one form or another.

Now we turn our heads to the planning for BTM44 'Carpet Bomb' Edition!  This is not a date announcement for the upcoming summer BTM bash so don't fire off to the sign-up page and start filling in like a mad-man, rather it's a call to arms on the Abattoir.BBs for your input which will help shape this bash...  Summer's here and we're pulling out all the stops on this BTM, the grill will be ablaze with BBQ goodness as we napalm meat, the LLAMA Tent will be back up (Little Local Area MeatMan's Abattoir) and the tournament will be a hoot, but first, we have to know what you want; remember...  It's all about you!  Head to the Abattoir.BBs and vote now (link removed for archives) for chow and tournament game, then keep posted for the date announcement.

Odd as it may seem, I've yet to receive a response from Mr. Gabbard about Cedar Springs little SPAM fest to peoples cell phones, nor has the .10¢ cash I demanded as compensation shown in my mailbox as yet (see Apr16 minutes).  I think I better fire off another letter to them, I guess they thought I was joking.

 

Well at least we’re going to have more time on our hands now since they don’t televise the Leafs’ golf games… I recall going off on a tangent last season, perhaps I should just cut and paste that LAN Minutes update here seeing as little has changed since then. Last night the Flyers ended the Leafs pursuit of Lord Stanley’s Cup in overtime after they dominated over the buds for two periods; it wasn’t till the third period we saw a point on the board and brought ourselves out of a 2-0 game to a tie and into overtime. Out played, the Leafs are done for yet another cupless season… How will they repay us for all out loyalty? Raise ticket prices, of course. I’m beginning to dislike the Leafs organization more and more as the days go by.  Myles is only a couple weeks old and he produces more in his Pampers than the Leafs did last night; still, the Leafs stink more.

A moment here to thank all that came out on the weekend for BTM43, we had a blast and we were all a little overdue for it to boot… Big thanks go out to the folks at EB Games (...at Trafalgar and Dundas in Oakville...) for all the great swag they provided, almost everyone at the BTM walked with something; our big Unreal Tournament 2004 champs were Cam (CorpsE) Smith and Jordan (Sodalas) Alexander, each were given a monster sized Dungeon Siege game box stuffed with great bootie, way to play!  Check the Abattoir SuperFTP for all the great photos and video.

This BTM saw the return of the MeatCAM at last which gave everyone the chance to see a BTM live from afar… BTM44 will see the permanent return of the Abattoir’s Wall of Quake as well as a host of other additions. Keep posted here, we’ll be announcing the date to BTM44 quickly, this summer bash will see BBQ action and tournament fun; we’re sure to sell out quick since school will be out.