News, rants, verbal assaults from the past...
All opinions expressed herein are those of the author.
02:45pm Wed Oct 30, 2002 
What SoDa dreams of at the BTMs...What a boo-scary time we had!  It was nice to get back into some serious Metal of Honor: Allied Assault again…  Thanks to all who came out to frag away at BTM35, and a huge congratulations go out to SoDaLaS who walked with the Abattoir's 21" Monitor Random Draw Door Prize, we couldn't think of a more deserving winner!  (…Wait!  Yes we can…  David Grima's far overdue to take a prize home…)  Regardless, we hope you enjoy it SoDa, cuz size does count!  We also want to say a big welcome to the newbies who've joined the Abattoir community now, hope we see you at BTM36 -- Speaking of which, as you more astute readers have noticed, the date for BTM36 "Special Twist 02" Edition has already been set and is filling fast!  November 30th will be the date, and we have a very "entertaining tournament" planned with a very special twist at the final match…  Our last "twist" involved the final four players going at it, with one person controlling the Mouse and the other player controlling the Keyboard…  This twist will be even more evil, hope you're up to it!

MeatMan's Big, Hard, Drive is up!Our Abattoir SuperFTP Server and WebPortal Server suffered a major fall late last week when we did a Microsoft Update, then attempted to reboot…  It never came back.  As it turns out, the new IBM SCSI System Drive decided to throw a rod (…what do you expect, it was already a whole 4 months old, how long would you expect a SCSI Server Drive from IBM that you paid a premium on to last?..)  Since you all know my love of Microsoft, you could well imagine the look on my face and the thoughts going through my head when it looked like the Windows Update scrapped the Server…  Either way, a big thanks to Steve (Sgt.Slaughter) McCoy at MTC Computers for his fast action on getting us back up and running before the BTM even started.  As such, once again, you'll all have to reapply for an account, so pop us off an email with a password and we'll hook you up fast…

With help from the School behind the Abattoir, we now have finally solved our parking issues!  Yes, the Oakville Parking Nazi's can no longer touch us, and we're thrilled!  We've gone from "Parking and getting tickets" to "Parking in a lit and security patrolled parking lot with permission from the Vice Principle" -- Nice upgrade if you ask me!  Still, some of the not-so-bright walked with tickets, but there's little we can do when you park directly below a "Don't even THINK about Stopping Here" sign.  It would appear also, our bitching, complaining and chasing of ticket officers has resulted in a town meeting at City Hall on November 25th.  Seems they're getting so much flak about the lack of parking ability in my area that they've decided to rezone and allow parking in the back laneways…  I think I'll attend this meeting, CorpsE, charge the Abattoir AirHorn!

All that great news aside, here's some crappy news…  After Isis finished "the books", we landed ourselves rather happily in the hole on this last BTM and after much deliberation (…and feedback from the LANer's…) we've decided to make future BTM's stand at $25 each.  Still a great value of course, but this little extra will help us maintain the level of "service" we strive for, and also help with our Electrical Bill!  Yes, as mentioned before, we had a nice little shock from our hydro bill (…punny, huh?..)  Normally our hydro comes in around the low $400 mark, which in itself is not that great…  Last hydro bill, $690!!  Ex-squeeze me!?  We didn't use our central air more than 7 days this summer past, who are these ass-holes kidding!?  And we're paying an additional $35 or so as a surcharge to help pay off Ontario Hydro's debt after they mismanaged our hydro for all these years, AND we're actually paying GST Tax on that...  Who do these idiots think they are!?  Time to coat the Abattoir with Solar Cells.  It's even been suggested the Abattoir introduce a "Guzzler Tax" of $5 for each patron that brings a monitor over 19" and a sub-woofer, but we think that's going a little far.  It's going to be interesting to see how this electrified situation plays out over the next few months.

For all who've emailed us about the link below to the additional images of my Sister and Paul's wedding, yes…  We know the link doesn't work.  It's actually just underlined text and not a real link, we were hoping to have the rest of the image plates done by that evening, but time ran tight with all the scrambling for BTM35.  It'll be up soon.

We'll also be finally getting around to adding another two breakers to LAN Central, with the addition of the MiniArcade and a BTM Fridge, we'll be eating even more of that good juice we're paying so dearly for…  No more blackouts come BTM36*crosses fingers*  Get to that Sign-Up Page and get ready for a Tournament with a Twist!  Have a scary Halloween!

04:15pm Fri Oct 18, 2002 
Ever notice how almost every update we have at the Abattoir seems to start with some sort of apology for the lack of updates?  Keeping with that theme, I'll fill you all in on the plethora of activity that's caused the downward spiral of any and all free time (…whatever the hell that is…) I may have had over the last month or more…  As you read below, my Sister Tracy and her Boyfriend Paul are now Husband and Wife in what turned out to be an outstanding wedding considering the circumstances.  With almost no time to plan the event, it was held at my Parents' new estate (...which wasn't even finished, and still isn't…)  There was even sod being laid in the back courtyard the day before the wedding.  The good crew of the Abattoir stepped up to the plate and volunteered their time and muscle in a mad scramble to get furniture moved in for the wedding.  Paul looked robust and hansom, Tracy looked stunning…  If you want to see a few snappies, click here.  Congrads you two…  Where are the kids?

The very next day was my Parents 40th Wedding Anniversary and a surprise party was all set to kick off the next day.  My Father looked robust and hansom, Mom looked stunning.  (…okay, how many adjectives do you know, smart-ass?..)  Follow that with my Fathers 62nd Birthday, and you just don't have time to sleep…  Chuck Thanksgiving in there too if you like.

One of the Abattoir's big fans from overseas has complained and whined about never being mentioned on the Abattoir, so here you go…  This is my lovely Aunt Monica and her Porno Star boyfriend Chase who also joined us all for the above mentioned festivities from England.  I gave Monica a Logitech 3000 Web Cam to bring back with her so we can video chat over the net, seemed like a good idea at the time.  So far I've seen her face for about 10 seconds before her computer folds in on itself, don't worry, Monica…  We'll get you hooked-up one way or another.  So there you go, you've been mentioned in the LAN Minutes and we've even put your mug shot up, happy?

The Abattoir's beloved Stuii Bobcat is having a few health issues, he is almost 20 years old but recently has been 'ejecting' much of his food…  If it continues, we'll rename him to 'Spewii Blobcat'.  So off to the vet he went, keep in mind, he's not an outdoor cat, so for the few times he's been in my car it always involved a trip to the vet.  He's put 2 and 2 together and usually assumes a car ride equates to something going up his ass.  Tests all came out great and the vet was stunned to find a cat this old in such great shape.  I'm just letting you all know to be extra nice and gentle with him during the upcoming BTM.

More news on our favourite people, the Oakville Parking Nazi's.  At the last BTM (…and many before that…) we have been receiving parking tickets for those who leave their cars overnight, even though arrangements have been made with the Town of Oakville.  Thus far, the Abattoir has scrunched-up and inserted back into the rectum of the Parking Nazi's, over $500.00 worth of tickets…  Anticipating an "issue" this time, I've taken the precaution of direct taping the calls I've made, as well, I've recorded numerous and detailed fax and call logs.  Unfortunately, when I did get them live on the phone, they folded like SoDaLaS on his keyboard when I called and I didn't get the chance to use my unforeseeable arsenal of tactical information against them.  At least I was prepared for battle.  So…  Anyone who received a ticket at BTM34 who's logged that ticket with me, forget about it, they've all been receded once again.  You can ignore the threat letters that leaked out before they could cap them.  These tickets are now dead: 0464050, 0464051, 0464052, 0464053, 0463672, 0463673 and 0463675.  Thanks for your patience on this confirmation.  Due to the fact I've raised such a stink about the totally unreasonable parking situation in my community, and the fact that I've made them eat so many tickets, they've decided (…just one day after my last call…) to grace my back laneway with "No Parking" signs.  Thanks for the extra decorations, Oakville…  but they don't go with my décor and I think I'll take them down.  CorpsE and I were ranting about this crap last night, and we've decided to make a chalk outline on the laneway behind the Abattoir of a Ticket Officer, complete with cap and notepad…  We'll write "Bye-Law" in the middle of it, think they'll see the humour in that, or no?  Please make your best attempt to car pool for BTM35, because you know there's going to be problem that we'll not be able to fix this time.  We're working on alternate arrangements and will keep you posted.

Speaking of useless collections, check out this 407ETR bill that candie received in the mail.  Yes, you're reading it right…  She was mailed an ETR bill for a total of $0.09!  Does this take the bone-head cake or what!?  I'm sure the ETR is run by the Government, there can't be this many stupid people in the world.  Bet that bill cost them about $1.75 at least to produce and mail, makes your head shake, huh, Folks.  Speaking of the Government, let's shift now to real stupid bills.  Take a flying guess at what the Abattoir's last Hydro Bill was?  Go ahead, guess…  I'll tell you tomorrow.

The BTM is now just a short week away…  Work's going at a fever pace around the Abattoir. LAN Central is finally getting a little attention as we've torn the place apart, sterilized it (…or "DeStuii'ed it" as it were…) and are in the process of building an Abattoir MiniArcade adjacent to LAN Central!  We're also responding to the Abattoir patrons demands for refrigeration!  Since there's so much food involved, we don't have a whole lot of fridge space available for those who prefer to bring their own drinks or snacks, so we're also adding a new, full-sized fridge in the MiniArcade solely for the BTM's.  Stop your bitching. <GriN!>

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